I've always been weak in the practicals. I'm the guy who finds the "ivory tower" designation to be somewhat complementary. If I could I would spend the majority of my time thinking, reading, and writing. But I realize that a lot of what introverted Christians are looking for are practical suggestions for things like how to turn their perceived weaknesses into strengths, how to get involved in a church in a way that's true to their nature, how to get their church to realize there are lots of introverts out there who aren't always comfortable with church culture and the ways values are presented, how to make friendships, how to recharge, etc.
I need to sharpen my thinking in this arena, especially if I'm going to be able to help fellow introverts find confidence in navigating extroverted church culture (incidentally, I met a woman the other day who is currently working on a large scale critique on the extroverted tendencies of American culture and institutions as a whole - how ambitious is that?!).
Let me throw this issue out to my readers, so we can start discussing these things together. What are the practical questions that you have about being an introvert in the Church? Where are you stuck? How have you found success? How have you failed?
Having just gone through the new member process:
ReplyDelete1. How do you get a feeling for a new church when you are less likely to just walk up to people and start conversations? How can churches recognize and draw in the wallflowers?
2. OK, now you're a new member. You're going to church every Sunday, sitting in your own pew. Short of saying "HEY! I want to do more!" how do you get the church to invite you to be more involved?
3. How do introverts deal with church committees, particularly the power politics that they tend to involve?
4. How can you help others see, help you see, and understand the signs of overinvolvement or the need to recharge? How do you keep people from assuming that you are annoyed with them, or that you are unhappy, when you withdraw occasionally?
5. Here's the biggie - EVANGELISM. What is the introverted form of evangelism? Is it just as valid as the extroverted version?
And now my frustrations:
ReplyDelete1. A committee chair who seems to have a need to feel totally in control of the committee's (and members') actions.
2. A nominating/committee staffing process that chooses people for committees rather than asking those people what their interests are.
3. A culture that values quiet in worship (Taize service, silent prayer) but then holds Fellowship Hour in a big room with no quiet corners (or chairs!) to sit and talk one-on-one or in small groups.
What are the practical questions that you have about being an introvert in the Church?
ReplyDelete1. How can we help the extroverts at church understand that our introverted tendencies are not character flaws or signs of weakness? How can we encourage the church to embrace introverted leaders? How do we respectfully communicate to the church that it has not created enough avenues to attract and retain introverts?
Where are you stuck?
2. I'm stuck with the prevailing school of thought that says that a good/successful leader exemplifies a completely extroverted nature. I'm stuck with finding ways to connect with people outside of the context of small groups.
How have you found success?
3. Being connected through small groups, leading a small group, finding and latching on to other introverts with similar frustrations, reaching-out to other introverts and new members so that they feel welcomed, getting to know a person or two with a lot of connections, and serving with ministries that work with the marginalized.
How have you failed?
4. I've failed at maintaining friendships with very extroverted people within the church. It never seems to work out in the long-run, probably due mostly to the communication differences and misunderstandings that we become unwilling to work through.
Thanks, Mark and Nicole. This is SO helpful.
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