Conversation starters, incomplete thoughts, and links from Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church

Monday, December 28, 2009

Introverted Missions



Pictured above is a corner of the bookstore at Urbana '09, currently taking place. To have my book sandwiched between Henri Nouwen books is a little surreal. 

Strong introvert that I am, I still find myself wishing I were at Urbana, the colossal international missions conference put on by InterVarsity every 3 years in St. Louis (it used to be in Champagne-Urbana, Illinois).  I had hoped to be invited to lead a seminar on introverts and missions, but it didn't happen this year.   

Urbana '03 was probably the most extroverted conference I have ever been to.  Around 20,000 people flood the convention center - most of them very energetic college students - and the week was absolutely packed with events, seminars, communal meals, Bible studies, and corporate worship with an international flavor. Urbana culminates with 20,000 people celebrating the Lord's Supper at midnight on New Years Eve, which had to be the most incredible worship experience of my life.  I couldn't help thinking that it was a preview of the supper of the Lamb. 

I went as a college pastor, and I found myself begging off a few events to find some introvert time.  Probably the most brutal element of that week was that I had to share a room with a stranger.  He was a great guy, but he was an extrovert and wanted to review the day with me in the evening.  There were very few places of sanctuary for me, and it probably took me a week to recover from the conference. 

But I am deeply grateful for that conference, because it came at a pivotal point in my life and ministry.  I was there to help 20 college students from my church to discern God's call in their lives, but early on in the week, I realized that I too needed to hear from God.  My position at my church was ending and I had absolutely no idea what was coming next.  As I opened myself up to listen during that week, I heard a distinct call - confirmed in several ways - to join InterVarsity Christian Fellowship as a staff member at my alma mater, Claremont McKenna College.  God's hand in that decision has only been confirmed over the years, as through that ministry I was ordained by the PCUSA and I also developed relationships with editors at InterVarsity Press, which led to the eventual publishing of Introverts in the Church.

I really wish I had been asked to lead a seminar at Urbana this year, because I would love to interact with introverts who are considering, or currently participating in, world missions.  While I served for 3 years as a pastor-missionary with InterVarsity, serving a group of Christian college students and partnering with them in reaching out to the seekers around them, my international missions experience is limited to a summer in college, when I spent a few months trekking through Mexico City and Chiapas with a few other Claremont students.  In my book I talk about how draining that time was for me.  This was before I had acknowledged and embraced my introversion, and I couldn't figure out why I was tired pretty much the entire summer.  I thought it was poor diet, the heat, or illness, but I realize now that I had, and took, very little time to recharge on my own during those months.  I found Mexican culture to be tirelessly extroverted, and people often mistook me for being "enojado" (angry) because I wasn't as expressive as the extroverts in our group.

My friend Kent Annan is a missionary in Haiti and just wrote a fantastic book called Following Jesus Through the Eye of a Needle (seriously, this guy can write - Brian McLaren put him in a category with Donald Miller and Lauren Winner). Actually, as a quick aside, Kent and I lived on the same floor in seminary for an entire year, about 75 feet apart, and never once talked.  Can you tell we're both introverts?!  But now we've connected through IVP and exchanged a few emails.  Kent is reading Introverts in the Church right now, and he sent me this email recently:
Haiti is not a place for introverts. I love it here, but it is intensely social from rising to sleeping--and, now that I think of it, also while sleeping since the roosters go all night, apparently never getting the "sunrise" cock-a-doodle-doo memo.
In the book I give all kinds of strategies for helping introverted Christians and leaders to navigate Christian community, and to worship, lead, pray, relate, and evangelize as themselves. But I wonder if those same strategies are effective for introverted missionaries? In cultures that are even more extroverted than the United States - I'm thinking of Latin America, India, Africa, etc - how do introverts survive? Are any of you in missions out there? What are your experiences?

16 comments:

  1. Congratulations Adam, you need to share your good news with the world. I can't wait to read your second book whenever that will be coming out :))
    Keep up the good work

    Bill
    www.williamcmills.com
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  2. Adam,

    My wife and I went to Germany 2005-06 for an missions internship. We are currently raising support to go back for full-time missions. I am introverted and so is my wife and luckily Germany is a good fit for introverts.

    For the most part Germans are quiet people. Hop on a train or bus and 95% of the people keep to themselves and talk little. Each day from 1pm-3pm people take a break. No one is allowed to make a ton of noise outside. I love it. 2 hours of rest when most Americans are still chugging the coffee in order to keep going for the next 4 hours.

    PS: I just finished chapter 4 in your book and this will be the first chapter that I reread. Thanks for the great advise on introverted spirituality.

    David

    Mosaic Mercy
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  3. Hmm. Maybe I should move to Germany. I'm going to France next summer for the first time and I'll be curious to see how extroverted French culture is, with all their sidewalk cafes and long dinners.
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  4. I think that the French are a little more extroverted. If we live in Germany by then and you need a place to escape you will have a place to stay. :-)
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  5. Thanks for your book - I've started reading it this week, having just returned from being on the mission field in South America for 4 years. The culture is generally extroverted there, and there were definitely moments of incomprehension when my introversion clashed with the cultural norms. The hardest thing for me was when I had to attend the regular celebration teas put on at work, which forced me to sit at a big table with all these people, making small talk, and unable to move and find the one or two people I might actually want to have a deeper conversation with! Gladly, these teas were only once every month or so and usually only lasted an hour.

    I did find the people who became my friends had a real desire to accept me as I am, even if they didn't always understand. However, I think the general extroversion of the culture meant most friendships tend to stay on the 'acquaintance' level and I found it hard to get beyond that. I really only felt I had a good friendship with one South American, and that it didn't reach its full potential as a friendship (from my perspective) because there were very few moments when I got to see her on her own - her family were always around, so deeper conversation was limited!

    Today, I was reading your chapter on the 'The Introverted Difference.' This led me to consider my experience on the mission field and I think there are great advantages to being an introvert on the mission field, particularly in the beginning, because you are much more observant than extroverts tend to be, and this together with your internal processing means you don't put your foot in it nearly as often as extroverts might do. You're much more likely to do the culturally appropriate thing.

    Having lived in a number of different countries, I have a lot of experience of having to adapt to new cultures. However, I have not experienced the culture shock that people talk about so much and I wonder whether this has anything to do with being an introvert and taking the time to process everything I'm experiencing? Or am I just very blessed in being so adaptable?

    What do you think?
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  6. I just returned from (my first) Urbana.

    It would have been wonderful for you to present there because, I think there are introverts (like me) who wonder about their place in missions and ministry. I saw your book on sale there on Wednesday. Intending to buy it, I returned the next day to find it sold out. Even though you weren't there, know your story was valuable for me and others. Thank you.
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  7. Thanks for sharing that Rachel. I was pretty bummed not to be at Urbana, but I'm encouraged that people heard about the book and are benefiting from it.
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  8. I too was just at Urbana for the first time, and from beginning to end I was completely overwhelmed by the numbers of people and the lack of time to myself. On the first day I wandered through the bookstore and your book leaped out at me from the shelf. I purchased it on the spot, and through the rest of the week it sustained me and kept me from going absolutely crazy. (Every time I got stuck standing in the middle of a crowd of hundreds or thousands I'd pull out the book to carve myself a bit of space in the madness.)

    In terms of missions, I'd always assumed I could never be involved because I have a hard time relating to people and making myself known, especially with strangers. Reading your chapters on leadership and evangelism punched holes straight through my theories.

    I am so grateful to have found this book! I feel like I'm starting this whole new journey of learning to value my identity, and how to relate to both introverts and extroverts. I've just finished reading it and next I plan on going back through a bit more reflectively. (After I pry it away from my introverted family members!)

    Thank you for sharing your perspective and your experiences, and I hope God continues to use your words to challenge and to encourage. :)
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  9. I loved reading this story, Eleanor. Thanks so much for sharing! I heard that the book sold out at Urbana in 2 days, so you certainly weren't alone in your experience!
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  10. I've been to some huge conferences, too, that left me so overwhelmed that I could hardly function! 8000+ people, jammed into a hotel complex, not-to-be-missed worship opportunities, seminars needed for CE credit, and all kinds of fabulous events starting in the wee hours of the morning ... and running til the wee hours of the next morning.

    As I left one year, I looked longingly at the fabulous spa and pool that I had never taken the time to visit, and swore I would spend time there the next time around.

    And I did! I skipped an evening plenary session and while 7999 others were in attendance doing the right thing, I savored every quiet, peaceful, relaxing moment on my own, doing what I needed to do to keep sane, balanced, and healthy.

    Looking back, it was the best part of the whole event! "In quietness and confidence is your strength ..."

    Linda
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  11. Well done Linda. Perfect attendance is overrated. I've always found it a little funny that, at the beginning of many retreats I've been to, the leader will say "We want you to do what's best for you during this time. If you need to sleep for three days, then sleep for three days." And then I'll skip a session, and the next morning people will say "Where were you?!!"
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  12. Oh and Fiona - I'm not sure I can answer your question. I certainly experienced culture shock in my mission trip in Chiapas, but I was also young and not totally sure of myself at the time. Someone on a previous post said she transitions much better than her extroverted husband because she is comfortable with being alone. So when she moved recently, and didn't know anyone, she found solace in her inner world. Is that anything like you're talking about?
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  13. I'm an introvert, and I'm heading to Spain for missions this fall. Yeah, Spain, where it's often considered rude if you DON'T talk to the strangers on the public transit around you. Ack! All I know is that I'm glad I'm working in the school setting, because my people time is a little more structured. :)
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  14. I'm an introvert, and I'm heading to Spain for missions this fall. Yeah, Spain, where it's often considered rude if you DON'T talk to the strangers on the public transit around you. Ack! All I know is that I'm glad I'm working in the school setting, because my people time is a little more structured. :)
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  15. I just returned from (my first) Urbana.

    It would have been wonderful for you to present there because, I think there are introverts (like me) who wonder about their place in missions and ministry. I saw your book on sale there on Wednesday. Intending to buy it, I returned the next day to find it sold out. Even though you weren't there, know your story was valuable for me and others. Thank you.
    ReplyDelete
  16. Hmm. Maybe I should move to Germany. I'm going to France next summer for the first time and I'll be curious to see how extroverted French culture is, with all their sidewalk cafes and long dinners.
    ReplyDelete

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Claremont, CA, United States
Adam S. McHugh is the author of Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. He is an ordained Presbyterian minister, spiritual director, chaplain, speaker, and retreat leader. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Christian Century, RELEVANT Magazine, Psychology Today, and Leadership Journal, among other publications. He is a graduate of Claremont McKenna College and Princeton Theological Seminary. On February 28, 2012 he will serve as guest chaplain in the U.S. House of Representatives. He lives in Claremont, CA.

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The Goals and Perils of Community Life
Rejoicing in Suffering

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