A while back I linked to Sophia Dembling's post at the Introvert Corner about her hatred of the telephone: Don't Call Us, We'll Call You, Well No Actually We Probably Won't
Today on Wired Magazine's website, Clive Thompson has an article called "The Death of Phone Call." Here's an excerpt that I resonate with:
Consider: If I suddenly decide I want to dial you up, I have no way of knowing whether you’re busy, and you have no idea why I’m calling. We have to open Schrödinger’s box every time, having a conversation to figure out whether it’s OK to have a conversation. Plus, voice calls are emotionally high-bandwidth, which is why it’s so weirdly exhausting to be interrupted by one. (We apparently find voicemail even more excruciating: Studies show that more than a fifth of all voice messages are never listened to.)
What are your thoughts? Is the phone call dead? Are introverts particularly averse to unexpected phone calls?
I hate phone calls....but somehow I can't live without my cellphone. My first reaction when a phone rings is to see who it is even if I know I am not going to answer it because I am in the middle of something.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I don't listen to a lot of my voice-mail. If I know who it is from based on caller id, I just call the person. If I can't get them then I listen to the voice-mail. For me, it's saves time to go right to the source to find out what they want.
Since I spend a lot of my time talking with people, my first choice if I want an answer from someone is to email or text them. This way, they can answer when it's convenient for them and I don't have to talk. Most quick phone calls last longer than they need to.
I am generally alright with receiving phone calls. On the other hand, I do everything in my power to avoid phoning another person. Perhaps this is because when I phone another person, you could say it's up to me to justify why I'm calling.
ReplyDeleteDitto with voice mail. I only leave a voice mail if absolutely necessary. Most times, I just hang up. Yet, I'm generally fine with receiving a voice mail.
So all in all, I find electronic means of communication which aren't time-sensitive (text messages, e-mail, blogging, etc) far more comfortable - both I and the person I'm trying to reach can carry on a conversation at our leisure, without feeling the discomfort of wanting to leave but feeling impolite doing so.
If the phone call truly is dead, I won't be shedding any tears, and I won't be attending its funeral.
I have to use the phone for work. I have actually come to value it more through my work. You can sit there and type out an email, but when I'm corresponding with a volunteer or colleague, it seems that much more special when I call. When I want to talk about something important, I'll go through the trouble of scheduling a time to talk even though it's more hassle than writing an email.
ReplyDeleteIn my personal life, however, I'm much less likely to use the phone. This is probably because I have to use it so much for work. I guess it comes out to a wash.
I have to admit that I'd much rather send people an e-mail, but I've made myself use the phone and deal with making conversation. Most of the calls I make are related to church business, so it's a little bit easier in that it's not really a personal conversation, but I'm even trying to make small talk and be mindful of asking people how they're doing before launching into the reasoin for my call. I've always been a pretty direct, business-type, so I've had to learn how to soften that approach and try to be more personable.
ReplyDeleteAUGH! I work as a receptionist, and I don't mind receiving those phone calls because I always know what to do with them--mostly, transfer to others. :) It doesn't bother me talking to other people if I have the answers for them, apparently!
ReplyDeleteBut I do NOT enjoy my cell phone, unless I am giving/getting calls from people I actually want to talk to. I honestly get frustrated nearly every time the phone rings, and it's even more exhausting to listen to voicemails because that means I now have to call people back. AWFUL!
Great blog post, but with the number of people I see every day in the city shouting into cellphones, I'd have to disagree that the death of the phone call is near.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way as Jeff - I don't mind receiving phone calls, but I absolutely hate making the call. I used to think that was just a wee bit pathological, but then I found out about introverson so I know it's just normal for me. I do enjoy talking to my friends on the phone. But not for too long.
ReplyDeleteI hope the phone call is not dead because it is important sometimes to hear the tone of voice of the other person. My son had a teacher who said he would never respond to a parent via e-mail because his sarcasm would be misinterpreted.
Sophia Dembling's article and another in Psychology Today helped me understand the fact that introverts have a naturally aroused nervous system, and I suddenly realized that the reason I hate making phone calls is that it adds to that arousal and pings me with hyperarousal. It's very uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI hate phone calls....but somehow I can't live without my cellphone. My first reaction when a phone rings is to see who it is even if I know I am not going to answer it because I am in the middle of something.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I don't listen to a lot of my voice-mail. If I know who it is from based on caller id, I just call the person. If I can't get them then I listen to the voice-mail. For me, it's saves time to go right to the source to find out what they want.
Since I spend a lot of my time talking with people, my first choice if I want an answer from someone is to email or text them. This way, they can answer when it's convenient for them and I don't have to talk. Most quick phone calls last longer than they need to.