Today's post combines two of the most hazardous arenas for introverts: conferences/camps and youth ministry. Aubry Smith wrote a post the other day that I loved so much I asked her if I could re-post it. If you were designing an "introvert fantasy camp," what would it look like? Enjoy the post and weigh in at the bottom!
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Last week, I went as a sponsor with my husband and our youth group to the Student Life camp in Orange Beach. David Platt was our speaker, so I was definitely as challenged and stretched as any teenager there, but nearly the entire time I thought to myself, “Wow. Extroverts plan and lead this whole operation.” Seriously, there isn’t a single aspect of camp that has introverts in mind. So, here is my fairy-tale proposal for church camp geared toward introverts.
1) Actual Quiet Time. Now, every church camp is going to say that they schedule time for you to read your Bible and pray. They just don’t tell you that you’re only going to get ten minutes before the craziness begins, unless you are disciplined and wake up before everyone else. The only problem is, you can’t actually get away from everyone else, so you’re exhausted and really need every minute of sleep that you can grab. And it takes us introverts at least ten minutes for our internal dialogues to slow down so that we can actually pray clearly or meditate on Scripture. In my fake Introvert Camp, you get one hour scheduled in the morning and evening for quiet time. Extroverted teenagers will be finished after ten minutes and will be dying to talk to anyone to break the silence.
2) Low-key worship. I love music, I really do. But I literally had to get those little orange earplugs to stuff in my ears at camp, because the volume was making me panic. Combine the raging music with the flashing concert lights, not to mention all the jumping around and “shake or hug your neighbor and say ‘ARE YOU READY TO WORSHIP???”’ and you have a room full of stressed-out introverts who are definitely not ready to worship. My solution? An acoustic set. Unplugged. Just get a guitar up there, maybe a djembe and one of those little shaker things, and we are good to go. Let’s have times of singing, then times of extended silent prayer, confession, and centering interspersed throughout. Oh, and no touching your neighbor and saying awkward things to them. It’s not allowed at introvert camp.
3) Processing time after the message. David Platt brought it this week. I took furious notes, but after he was finished speaking, we went right back to the crazy band, jumped around, and then went straight to church group time to discuss it. No surprise: the introverts in our group never spoke about what they’d heard. We are slow thinkers; it’s why we find conversations difficult. So for maximum impact after the sermon, allow five or ten minutes of silent worship and response. The low-key band should play quietly during this time as we introverts process the message we just heard. You might find us rather talky during the church group sessions at Introvert Camp.
4) Separate sleeping quarters. Now, this is a cost issue, but we’re at my fictitious youth camp, so bear with me. We love you, extroverts, but we need time away from you so that we can really be with you. We need our sleep. We can do the fun stay-up-all-night-talking-and-partying for one night, but the rest of the nights at camp, we need to recharge. Alone. So we’re going to have separate bunks in separate rooms. Even just a little cubicle would be sufficient. Youth pastors should enforce quiet hours – which need to last at least 8 hours (I myself need nine).
5) Group time. You thought I was going to try to spend the whole camp getting away from everyone, didn’t you? No, introverts do enjoy being with people, and we gain a lot from building relationships and having shared experiences with extroverts (I am married to an extrovert, and I happen to think he’s a lot of fun). We really do want to be part of the group, and it is actually very painful to be left out because of cliques. This was the biggest thing I struggled with when I worked at Kanakuk for two years; if you weren’t a wild and crazy extrovert, few people really wanted to know you since you didn’t have a super fun personality. But we go through cycles of needing to recharge alone and periods of being with people. So yes, we love group time and hearing what everyone else is learning. Bring on the group time and the games and the silliness.
6) No guilt for introversion. I didn’t attend, but I heard that at Super Summer Arkansas this year, the speaker (a coach) told youth pastors to focus their time and attention on gaining 10 “sharks” (extroverts who are wild, crazy, and love to talk to people) in the youth group, because these people are the ones who will really make an impact for the Kingdom of God. No, no, no!!! You can serve God in a way that is compatible with your personality. My husband and some of my closest friends have confirmed that the Spirit has gifted me for evangelism. I’m an introvert! And I struggled with ridiculous shyness for years! At my camp, you won’t be made to feel like you’re no good because you’re not an extrovert. Your introversion is not something you need to “grow out of.” No matter what our culture tells us, introverts can and do make faithful and devoted servants of Christ.
7) Excitement and volume don’t equal devotion. How loud you scream weird cheers about Jesus will never determine your spiritual development at Introvert Camp. So if they make you feel awkward – no worries. No one cheers “We love Jesus yes we do, we love Jesus how about you?” at my camp. Yes, you can be passionate about Jesus without having to yell about it.
Would you come to my introvert church camp?
Aubry Smith is passionate about missions, theology, and helping the Church to think critically through her blog. She is a wife and stay-at-home mom to her two boys, and she and her husband are beginning a program in international church planting. You can also follow her on Twitter.
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What would your "introvert fantasy camp" include? What would it not include?
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What would your "introvert fantasy camp" include? What would it not include?
I think Introvert Camp should also allow us to have a lot of one on one conversations rather than focusing on group discussions. Love this post!
ReplyDeleteIt would NOT involve getting up in front of a group to "share"
ReplyDeleteI went to an introvert camp (HoneyRock in WI), and it changed my life! It was a wilderness-learning discipleship camp that did everything (even kids camp) in small groups--especially the learning. No giant meetings or emotional Friday night campfire altar calls. Lots of time for reflection and silence along with a small community atmosphere. Worship was acoustic or completely unaccompanied. And there were two-week long wilderness trips for high-schoolers on up with no more than 12 people in a group. Such a profound and simple way to learn and love not only God, but other people as well! That was the place where I really awoke to the love of God for the first time, and it was so profound for me that I spent a year there for grad school.That year I learned how to fast, have extended quiet times, practice lectio divina, and live in community with other believers. I thank God for my experiences there, and I wish other introverts (and extroverts!) could experience the peace and growth that comes from slowing down and being intentional with their time and resources.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sold on camps. I had to go through several growing up, and they were terrible experiences. My introverted son went once. He hated it, and we've never made him go to another one. Maybe we should just let the extros have their pep rallies without us, while we focus on the business of living our lives, loving our neighbors, and engaging our hearts, minds, souls and strengths.
ReplyDeleteI would come!
ReplyDeleteI've been to a camp like this, but even better. Except it was called a silent retreat. Single bedrooms. Complete silence except for dinner the first night, lunch on the last day, and a daily communion service. In between, you could sleep, read, pray, take solitary walks, take a walk with a friend, sit by a fireplace with a dozen other people, or sit in your room by yourself. You just didn't ever have to talk. It's the main thing I miss about my former church, but whenever I suggest it at my new church, people insist that no one would like such a thing.
ReplyDeleteI am SO THERE.
ReplyDeleteI would so dearly love to come to your fantasy camp!!!
ReplyDeleteI always loved Bible camp as a child and teenager. I was even into the enthusiastic bits, odd as that seems to me now. But I always did have a good bit of time to wander about by myself, which probably contributed to my enjoyment of the extraverted bits, and because I have a mind to learn wherever I am, I always learned loads in the service and class times.
ReplyDeleteHowever this camp you have invented sounds sheer heaven.
But this!
"I heard that at Super Summer Arkansas this year, the speaker (a coach) told youth pastors to focus their time and attention on gaining 10 “sharks” (extroverts who are wild, crazy, and love to talk to people) in the youth group, because these people are the ones who will really make an impact for the Kingdom of God."
That's one of the most horrid things I ever heard!
It just dawned on me... my whole Bible college was geared for extroverts... no wonder I was exhausted when I graduated!
ReplyDeleteI am volunteering to be the speaker at introvert fantasy camp. After each session (in which there are no group discussions) I will give you 30 minutes of alone time to wander camp and process.
ReplyDeleteTerri - I'm speaking at the Westmont College chapel next fall about introversion - I'm hoping for a good response from the introverts there.
I would NOT begin with an ice-breaker with all participants sitting around in a huge circle, going around the circle telling everyone 5 pertinent facts about themselves. I WOULD want an ice-breaker where I got a chance to talk a little bit to 2 or 3 other people.
ReplyDeleteI would NOT want total silence, but WOULD want plenty of small-group or one-on-one discussion.
"7) Excitement and volume don’t equal devotion."
ReplyDeleteAn excellent point.
People so often assume that for children, loudness equals enthusiasm.
It makes me squirm when our pastor starts out the children's sermon with "Good morning!" and if the response is too quiet, he says, "Oh, come on, can't you do better? Let's try again! GOOD MORNING!" At which the children know they can (should) shout. How does this go over for the children who just don't like "loud."
At our camp growing up we did have real quiet time. I think it was two hours one day out of the week where we were alone. We had devotions too. Boys had it before breakfast and girls after, I think.
ReplyDeleteWhat I think was harder was our winter retreat. Three days of go, go, go! I felt I needed some time alone, but couldn't find any all weekend.
As the introvert wife of an extrovert husband, who speaks at youth camps and events, I really appreciate this post and agree wholeheartedly. So many of these points could easily be implemented and should. I have sat in the back of many of these events and observed the interaction and it is sometimes heart breaking. I was actually in the audience of Super Summer AR when the speaker made those horrid remarks. My husband and I took our kids and left. My heart broke for the middle schoolers in that auditorium. Churches must be made aware of the needs and gifts of the entire congregation.
ReplyDeleteThis was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI am not a Christian and I would love to come to your camp! Being in a space where my true nature is respected and valued and I didn't have to hug strangers would be wonderful.
ReplyDelete@Common Household Mom:
ReplyDelete"It makes me squirm when our pastor starts out the children's sermon with "Good morning!" and if the response is too quiet, he says, "Oh, come on, can't you do better? Let's try again! GOOD MORNING!" At which the children know they can (should) shout."
Ooh, I hate that. I know many a preacher of adults, as well as children, who does the same thing. Thankfully, I have come to a place where I am comfortable with refusing to respond. I don't bellow "Amen!" when the pastor stops and says, "That would be a good place for an 'Amen!'" and I don't read Scripture aloud in the group (usually because I'm reading it in Greek, not English...), and I don't repeat what the pastor tells everyone to repeat. I am quite astonished, usually, at the propensity for people to do what they're told.
Excellent idea! I have passed the age of camps (even Sr. camps), but have good memories of youth camps, both as a youth and as a sponsor. I'm sure in each there were kids who were introverts who went home unfed spiritually. I went home exhausted!!!!
ReplyDeleteMozelle Truman
I am sooo coming to your camp!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI would love your camp! And I agree with the first comment - lots of one-on-one or small group (3-4 people, max) discussions.
ReplyDeleteAubry, sounds good, but what you might yet need to consider is that institutional church by its very nature, is geared toward extroverts... conducting your supposed one on one time with God in a public setting doing what you're told by those supposedly on a higher spiritual plane than you, on command ("corporate worship" is not even in the Bible). If offered as simply an option your camp might be encouraging, but everything comes with a big dose of guilt and pressure, again by the very nature of institutional church.
ReplyDeleteYour camp experience that you had sounds like a nightmare. Extroverts are a real mystery to me emotionally. Similar to one I had in June of last year, if you care to look it up in the archives of my blog:
wildanimalshonorme.blogspot.com
Corporate worship precisely as we practice it inj our cultural settings certainly is not set down in the Bible, but many, many mentions are made of people coming together to worship and pray. Just read the book of Acts.
ReplyDeleteI would omit the teary, crowded, candle lit post worship worship around the (fill in the blank....lake, firepit, chapel, etc) on the last night. fer goodness sake- you're all exhausted, and have a looong drive back beginning at oh dark thirty on Sat am- go to bed already!
ReplyDeleteI'm there. This would rock.
ReplyDeleteI love the suggestion in the comments of having time to walk around alone to process. I don't want to process during quiet time when I'm still surrounded by people and music (even if it is soft) and all those extraverted people feeling increasingly uncomfortable.
I used to attend chapter camps each summer at Cedar Campus in the U.P. of Michigan. We arrive don Saturday night, had worship Sunday morning. Then for at least 3 hours on Sunday afternoon we were expected to head somewhere one our own for an ROS (Retreat of Silence). We could go anywhere on the beautiful grounds or just stay in our room. But silence was a must.
We also had a scheduled in quiet time each day. Plus free time every afternoon without a lot of pressure to be with others if we didn't want to. Even though all the rest of the time was spent with people, it made it so much easier to handle having all that quiet/alone time scheduled in.
I would omit clapping... My number one pet hate is when I'm told "Give God a clap!"
ReplyDeleteI think I was ruined at a conference when we were all told to give one of the Pastors a 'prophetic clap" as he headed up to the stage. I don't even know what a prophetic clap is...
I always wondered why I was so exhausted after every church/youth group "retreat" I've ever been on. I would definitely sign up for your introvert camp.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. Love this blog. Understanding more and more each day that I am a blessed, spirit-filled introvert and God made me that way. Thank you.
Yes Emmett, I've read the Bible, but people often assume stuff is in the Bible that's not there. I wasn't arguing against gathering to worship, but "corporate" worship as we know it in our culture is an offshoot of a business minded church culture...
ReplyDeleteAnnette I am seeing some exhausted youth this summer as a result of their camp experience. I was one of the kids who often just survived.
I would omit clapping... My number one pet hate is when I'm told "Give God a clap!"
ReplyDeleteI think I was ruined at a conference when we were all told to give one of the Pastors a 'prophetic clap" as he headed up to the stage. I don't even know what a prophetic clap is...
As the introvert wife of an extrovert husband, who speaks at youth camps and events, I really appreciate this post and agree wholeheartedly. So many of these points could easily be implemented and should. I have sat in the back of many of these events and observed the interaction and it is sometimes heart breaking. I was actually in the audience of Super Summer AR when the speaker made those horrid remarks. My husband and I took our kids and left. My heart broke for the middle schoolers in that auditorium. Churches must be made aware of the needs and gifts of the entire congregation.
ReplyDeleteI would NOT begin with an ice-breaker with all participants sitting around in a huge circle, going around the circle telling everyone 5 pertinent facts about themselves. I WOULD want an ice-breaker where I got a chance to talk a little bit to 2 or 3 other people.
ReplyDeleteI would NOT want total silence, but WOULD want plenty of small-group or one-on-one discussion.
It just dawned on me... my whole Bible college was geared for extroverts... no wonder I was exhausted when I graduated!
ReplyDeleteI've been to a camp like this, but even better. Except it was called a silent retreat. Single bedrooms. Complete silence except for dinner the first night, lunch on the last day, and a daily communion service. In between, you could sleep, read, pray, take solitary walks, take a walk with a friend, sit by a fireplace with a dozen other people, or sit in your room by yourself. You just didn't ever have to talk. It's the main thing I miss about my former church, but whenever I suggest it at my new church, people insist that no one would like such a thing.
ReplyDeleteIt would NOT involve getting up in front of a group to "share"
ReplyDeleteYou could count me in at this camp too. Just got back from our national youth gathering (Episcopal) and was just exhausted by all this extro energy. Our camp programs include a rest hour every day, plus an hour of unstructured free time, plus a mandatory 8 hour sleeping window. We do more small group type things than large group and always allow folks to "opt out" if they don't want to share with the larger group. In fact the focus of our program that I will be pushing in the next year is a focus on camp time as sabbath time. A holy time away from our regular lives. We will have plenty of sabbath play as well but really focus on giving youth some down time.
ReplyDeleteMany of your suggestions should be applied to adult worship services, especially contemporary protestant "non-denom" services.
ReplyDeleteI love your ideas. So much of contemporary church life seems designed to impede spiritual formation. No surprise, since it apes our hyperkinetic culture. When I was a youth pastor - yes, an introverted youth pastor, I know - we had a retreat focusing on lectio divina with a guest (an older youth) teaching it. The weekend included "fun" stuff, of course, but it had silent times built in. One of my prouder moments, actually.
ReplyDeleteI am an introvert who occasionally gets loud because I am so quiet in every single other area of my life. It's strange. I feel uncomfortable around people but because I am sooooo comfortable with the Lord, I am just about unhinged. It's pretty funny, I think, and if I weren't me, I would laugh pretty hard at myself. Thanks for making this blog. I love it.
ReplyDelete