Comments on Introverted Church: Transitions

Lots of questions here. But I think that there is ...

2011-07-18T18:57:30.607-07:00

Lots of questions here. But I think that there is a measure of truth here. I was glad to hit 30 and move on. Now in my early 50's I often feel that perhaps I am 'done.' But I don't think that I am. There is a deepening and I have become, according to a recent re-take of MBTI, more introverted these days. And I have. The internet, imho, has let introverts have a voice.

I've managed to get through a year and a half ...

2010-10-10T21:33:30.253-07:00

I've managed to get through a year and a half of blog posts in one weekend! One more year to go. I'm enjoying it very much, and I'm already feeling a lot more encouraged about my introverted place in Christian ministry.

I'm not sure if I've gotten more introverted as I've gotten older (I'm a whole 29 years old here), or if I've only come to recognize and embrace my own tendencies. I never experienced ridicule for always going about with my nose stuck in a book or for liking to wander in the woods by myself, so I've always been comfortable being introverted. But I do know I experienced a certain amount of pressure to be the proper extraverted Christian and simply thought I was struggling with sinful selfishness when I was uncomfortable with it. As I've grown up, I've become more and more comfortable with just being who God created me to be. Is this my perfect age? I don't have the slightest idea. I'll have to wait until I'm 50 or 70 to tell. I do know that I've loved my 20s and seem to have learned more in the last decade than in the two decades before.
Oh, and when I was younger, people did think I was older, and now that I'm 29, people tend to think I'm between 20 and 24. I'm little, and I look young. I have indeed kept a kind of childlike wonder about God's lovely world.

Thanks for all your thoughtful comments rosegenie!...

2009-10-22T10:24:46.260-07:00

Thanks for all your thoughtful comments rosegenie!

I'm only 31 but I feel that Introversion is a ...

2009-10-03T14:20:37.049-07:00

I'm only 31 but I feel that Introversion is a deeper form of Wisdom than Extroversion - and I feel that the Modern church caters for Extroverts, whereas the High Church caters for Introverts!! My Introversion has taught me soooo much wisdom about life, about not taking anything or anyone for granted, and that is the result of the crippling Shyness which paralysed me earlier in life. So yes, Introversion can often be a phase into which people grow after they become more wise, even if they started off as Extroverts! :-)

Thanks for your comments everyone. This post has r...

2009-10-02T16:53:19.933-07:00

Thanks for your comments everyone. This post has received a huge amount of traffic in the past week - obviously transitions are a significant topic for people. Thanks to those of you who really shared personally - Bo, your comment about how introversion really helped your huge life change makes a lot of sense and I think is really helpful. I also like your comment Al, that introverts may be construed as younger if they retain their natural creativity and imagination (and that's a big IF!!).

I'd like to add a point here. In Introvert Adv...

2009-09-25T00:58:05.762-07:00

I'd like to add a point here. In Introvert Advantage, by Marti Laney, she points out that not only do extroverts begin to operate more from their introverted side but introverts also begin to operate more from their extroverted side as we get older. Not sure just how that works with each of us, but thought I'd put it out there.

As for being "older," I'd have to say that you're thinking of only one aspect of introversion. One could also seem younger as an introvert because of maintaining a sense of wonder and imagination. That kind of applies to me, but then that could also be because I work with children.

I completely resonate with your statements about s...

2009-09-24T17:35:07.309-07:00

I completely resonate with your statements about seeming older than you really are. People used to assume I was at least three years older than my actual age. Some said that I seemed more "mature" although they also ridiculed me for my quiet side. Even the ones who were older than me found me intimidating during my early teen years, which I still laugh about at times.

My situation has reversed a bit now that I'm older. In a week I'll be 27, and many people I work with assume that I'm 22. I'm still highly introverted - probably even more introverted since I graduated from college, but some situations, especially my job in the grocery store, have forced me to extravert more often, and I've overcome shyness as a result (except with women).

As a child I took a while to feel confident and fr...

2009-09-24T14:23:27.730-07:00

As a child I took a while to feel confident and free enough to join in with kids I did not know. But I eventually joined in. It is as an adult that I feel my introvert-ism the most. Especially at work where in an effort to create "family" we have socials (read bars). I have not attended them. I need to be home after a long day at work.

I am glad about finding out that I am an introvert. It explains why I have and protect boundaries, especially as they pertain to time and my availability to others. I can't wait to read the book. I think I will send my boss a copy. His is extrovertd and can't understand why I don't participate in the socializing. I believe he sees being introverted as a choice and a negative.

Lots of questions here. But I think that there is ...

2009-09-24T14:06:44.167-07:00

Wow, Adam. I've got a lot of similarities ther...

2009-09-24T14:04:07.511-07:00

Wow, Adam. I've got a lot of similarities there. People did tell me I was old for my age, for essentially the same reasons, and I really am looking forward to getting older for the same reason you mentioned. I've always felt that growing up would be like "coming into my inheritance" or something like that--getting promoted, having authority, coming home, etc. But I've also always had a strong sense needing to be where I am in life. That sounds unclear... wish I could do better. Here are a couple examples: When I was a kid, I didn't want to be treated like an adult; an old man once said "Thanks, kid" as I held the door for him (only time that happened, I think) and it felt very right. And now that I'm grown, I want to be treated like an adult; I don't understand people who refuse to let younger people call them "Mr." I've been waiting for 27 years to have people call me Mr. Motte! It would not have been right when I was 12, but now it is.

I think a lot of this can be accounted for by my particular personality type (ISTJ in Meyer-Briggs terminology), but introversion is a major component of that.

hi adam! it's been awhile since i've read...

2009-09-24T14:04:00.390-07:00

hi adam! it's been awhile since i've read your blog. great post. i can't wait to read your book.

i had a thought about transition - i recently went through some major transitions all at once. i got married, moved to a new city after living in the same one my entire life, entered a lifestyle transition because of weather (re: LA to chicago in january), got a new job, had to find a new church, and meet new friends. everyone, including me, was worried about how i would respond to all of this change.

surprisingly, i adapted extremely well considering my circumstances. there were various factors that made it okay, but i attribute a big portion of it to being introverted. when i arrived in january it was freezing. i couldn't go outside. i wasn't working. my new husband was in school and gone all day. i had few friends. somehow i stayed sane and even fell in love with this city in the midst of all that.

I think I'm suited to a post-death phase. :) ...

2009-09-24T13:27:04.126-07:00

I think I'm suited to a post-death phase. :)

This is a related issue that probably needs it's own post.

I'm an introvert in a "career transition" (euphemism for "I need a job"). What's causing me trouble (and probably prologing my search) is that all job search strategies that are rated as "the right way" in this economy are extrovert-based - heavy networking (particularly with strangers), cold calling, even some volunteering, attending networking events. It's driving me nuts as these are the places where I am least comfortable.

I wish there was a career counselor out there (feel free to e-mail me) that has a successful job search strategy for introverts.