Introverted Church

The points you made are really helpful. As an Intr...

2012-02-09T18:49:05.862-08:00

The points you made are really helpful. As an Introvert, I tend to let ideas simmer and grow in my head long time before I share them with anyone else. This often leads to me becoming over protective of my ideas and often overly defensive whenever anyone criticizes these ideas (to the point the my wife has likened me having ideas to me having children). I often have to remember that most people are trying to help me and not hurt my ideas. I always have to remind myself that when criticism is coming from friends or family (especially criticism of my "well thought out" ideas) that they are not trying to injure me, but are usually helping me. I always have to remind myself that my wife is not trying to be mean by pointing out all of the flaws of my ideas, but instead she's helping me refine them since I often don't share them in the early stages of development.

I appreciate the guidelines you've identified,...

2012-02-09T17:54:38.522-08:00

I appreciate the guidelines you've identified, and will try to keep them in mind when dealing with criticism directed towards me. One other thing I've found helpful is, when the criticism is directed at some form of ministry I've engaged in (whether written, spoke, or lived), I try to remember that not everyone is ready to 'get' it right away. Some may remember and understand later, some may never get it. But just because someone responds to my ministry by rejecting or criticizing doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong or I failed (though I do need to calmly consider both of those possibilities); it may just mean that I planted a seed that will bear fruit later.

Well said!

2012-02-07T12:46:36.520-08:00

Well said!

I hear you Pattie. The good news is that there are...

2012-02-07T12:46:18.412-08:00

I hear you Pattie. The good news is that there are LOTS of us out there.

Yes, yes, yes! People say things like, "He...

2012-02-06T13:05:02.465-08:00

Yes, yes, yes!

People say things like, "He really loves people," meaning it in a way that's analogous to, "He really loves french fries (or skiing, or the works of Murakami, or whatever)." Which is a perfectly acceptable use of the English language, but has almost nothing to do with the Love to which we're called in Christ.

Thank you, Adam!

Adam, I found you through I-Monk, and am very glad...

2012-02-06T12:55:02.808-08:00

Adam, I found you through I-Monk, and am very glad to know that I am not alone in loving folks and being outgoing and cheerful...but EXHAUSTED by people and needing peace and silence to stay sane.

Thanks,

Pattie

2012-02-06T07:09:23.724-08:00

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I have read several books on the introverted perso...

2012-02-02T18:39:43.393-08:00

I have read several books on the introverted personality that have been helpful and affirming. Introverts have gifts to offer our culture, even though we are a minority. Research tells us we are neither neurotic or anti-social but are in our brain structure "hard-wired" to gain our energy by inward activities and then share them with others.

I am an introvert, who is occasionally mistaken fo...

2012-02-02T18:33:42.088-08:00

I am an introvert, who is occasionally mistaken for an extrovert (but I'm definitely an introvert). I nodded my head throughout the book. I think everyone in church ought to read this book. "Introverts in the Church" is essential reading for any introvert who has ever felt out of place, as well as for church leaders who want to make their churches more welcoming to introverts, and for extroverts who wish to better understand their introvert brethren and value the gifts God gave them rather than seeing them as less committed. It helps extroverts understand introverts, and it helps introverts understand extroverts, and, if the ideas contained therein are put into practice, both will feel welcomed and respected/valued in the church.

I have never thought of Networking from this persp...

2012-02-02T17:21:35.364-08:00

I have never thought of Networking from this perspective, but it definitely makes sense as an introvert.

I had a lot of issues with networking and definite...

2012-02-02T15:24:40.055-08:00

I had a lot of issues with networking and definitely believe in the value in the interesting/interested dynamic.

My issue was always that it felt like I was being used, so I started creating a meet-up with other pastors. That way I could keep it from being creepy and pressure filled, allowing people to connect.

Excellent advice. I'm a novelist (still lookin...

2012-02-02T13:33:19.578-08:00

Excellent advice. I'm a novelist (still looking for an agent to rep the book) and most of the book promo advice I've received seems geared toward extroverts. I especially appreciated your last point: protect your soul! Sometimes it feels as though social media/publishing endeavors/promotion/etc. are taking away bits of my soul. I'm learning to not let it do that. Thanks.

Everyone has a story to tell. I like it.

2012-02-02T10:35:30.010-08:00

Everyone has a story to tell. I like it.

Great post. In the last two years, I've actual...

2012-02-02T08:51:22.091-08:00

Great post. In the last two years, I've actually tried to recast my interactions with parents at my boys' school and sports events, hoping to see the small talk that I despise in a new way--a means of hearing others' stories, so different than my own. I've developed some rich relationships as a result. I still can't imagine going to a fundraising or alumni event for my institution, though, as that seems more like networking in the unsatisfying way you describe. Baby steps, I guess.

I have had that experience once, just a little tin...

2012-02-01T20:26:08.026-08:00

I have had that experience once, just a little tiny thing that has never left me and, like you said, never made me change the course of my life but has always come back as encouragement. On the worst day of my life, when I felt that the people I depended on the most had completely failed me, I felt God saying to me, "I am always faithful." I don't ever usually hear Him like that, with sort of words printed across my mind, or a distinct knowing of what He would say to me, but I did that night.

Unfortunately for me, I have the opposite problem....

2012-02-01T20:14:30.620-08:00

Unfortunately for me, I have the opposite problem. Because I haven't yet been published, I can't feel the leisure to call writing Real Work, so any time I'm not doing Real Work, I feel like I'm wasting time. And yet writing really is my Proper Job (as defined by Dorothy L. Sayers), and I hate this little guilt complex thing I have about Real Work.

Hi Radcliffe, I'm glad to hear you had a li...

2012-01-31T19:50:52.310-08:00

Hi Radcliffe,
I'm glad to hear you had a lightbulb moment after reading IitC. I've found the book to be very helpful as well.
Although I'm not Catholic (grew up Lutheran and now in a Baptist-affiliated church heavily focused on the Gen X and Y crowd which is VERY extrovertive), I really find a tremendous value in the Catholic community and traditions.
2 years ago I discovered a nearby Benedictine monastery that has a hermitage that can be reserved for several days at a time. For an introvert like me, it is an excellent environment for purging stress and reflection -- and oil painting too. The peace I've had on such individual retreats is amazing.
I ordered "Quiet" in November, received my copy last week and am now almost done with it. Happy reading!

I've already ordered the book "Quiet,&quo...

2012-01-31T15:53:52.712-08:00

I've already ordered the book "Quiet," but didn't know there was a connection to "Introverts and the Church." That's wonderful to know. I read your book a couple of years ago and it really expressed how I was feeling about getting involved in my church. I am Catholic, but I could still relate to so much of what was said. You mentioned many times how Spiritual Direction was a great ministry for introverts and I really had a lightbulb moment! I was already in Spiritual Direction and loved it - but never thought about being the Director. Now, I'm now in a program to become a Spiritual Director and it feels good - finally something in the Church that "fits" me!!!! Many thanks for a wonderful book! : )

Wow! Let's hear it for Godly introverts who g...

2012-01-31T13:10:05.908-08:00

Wow!

Let's hear it for Godly introverts who get to pray in/with/for Congress!

Pray to a congregation of One ... and many will be impacted.

You could pray that God gives them wisdom to make ...

2012-01-31T09:30:31.404-08:00

You could pray that God gives them wisdom to make the right decisions that follow God's will for this country.

As somebody who lives and works in DC, here are my...

2012-01-31T05:51:59.596-08:00

As somebody who lives and works in DC, here are my thoughts - first, when you pray, don't forget to include the staffers. Along with the representatives themselves, despite what people often say, the Hill is full of people who are working very hard, often paid very little (especially for a city that can be quite expensive to live in) and the work of Congress can be exhausting. Especially during an election year, members of Congress get hit with a lot of bile, and it's hard to hear yourself and your motives mischaracterized... I frequently think of the line in a poem that goes, "if you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken/twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools," and whatever your thoughts on political truth, I will tell you that there are a lot of folks up there who are genuine in trying to put forward what they think are good ideas, and it hurts to hear, over and over, that you're only acting because you've been bribed by some special interest. This is a stressful place, doing a stressful job, and that takes its toll on people's health. Right now, there are a lot of folks on the Hill who are reeling because of Senator Mark Kirk's stroke - Kirk is only 52 years old and well-liked on both sides of the aisle, and while he is a senator now, he was part of the House of Representatives until very recently, and he still has friends there.

Ultimately, I say stick with what you know. You're not a political person, you're somebody who seeks and cares for people in a thoughtful way. Pray for members of Congress to remember that they are people in need of rest, in need of quiet to listen for the quiet voices - whether that quiet voice be their own conscience, God, or the voices of those they represent who sometimes get lost in the chatter of Washington - in need of close connections to family and confidants to maintain perspective and an even keel. Despite the stereotypes in this town, there are lots of introverts here, and a lot of 'em are burning out. Finally, your book is about seeing the gifts God has given to somebody profoundly different from yourself (extrovert vs. introvert). I think there's something of value in there for DC today. Hope this helps.

That's amazing. I have no suggestions. If it ...

2012-01-30T12:09:30.082-08:00

That's amazing.
I have no suggestions. If it were me, I would run as fast as I could in the opposite direction (praying out loud in public feels a bit like walking around naked in public might to me), but that's just me.

Do we know anything about the specific business be...

2012-01-30T11:54:14.647-08:00

Do we know anything about the specific business before the House that day? If I were giving such a prayer, I'd pray for wisdom on those specific items.

Thanks for the feedback! This post has been more p...

2012-01-28T11:20:58.627-08:00

Thanks for the feedback! This post has been more popular than I expected. A lot of people out there struggling with what constitutes "real work."

I love the last paragraph. It's reminiscent of...

2012-01-27T14:48:23.643-08:00

I love the last paragraph. It's reminiscent of Brother Lawrence's Practicing the Presence of God. Thanks for sharing your journey. As a wannabe-writer, it's nice to hear that other writers don't make any money at the work they're most passionate about either but still write it anyway.